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O'Brien, I understand your feelings, but please believe me when I tell you that I'm a nice guy having a bad day. I just found out the Times is publishing a poll that says a considerable portion of Americans feel the White House has lost energy and focus. A perception that's not likely to be altered by the video footage of the President riding his bicycle into a Single seeking hot sex Jeffersonville. A good friend of mine's about to get fired for going on hardworjing and making sense, and it turns out I accidentally slept with a prostitute last night.

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Okay, here we go. Then what's the First Commandment? If our children can buy pornography on any street corner for five dollars, isn't that too high a price to pay for free speech? Virinia

On the other hand, I do think that five dollars is too high a price to pay for pornography. May I have some coffee, Mr.

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It's going to be an unbearable day. Landingham, does the President have free time this morning? The President has nothing but free time, Toby.

Right now he's in the residence eating Cheerios and enjoying Regis Good Kathie Lee. Should I get him for you? Sarcasm's a disturbing thing coming from a woman of your age, Mrs.

What age would that be, Toby? Can I have a cookie? Have a cookie, Sam. Sir, this may be a good time to talk about your sense of humor.

I've got an intelligence briefing, a security briefing, and a minute budget meeting all scheduled for the same 45 minutes. You sure this is a good time to talk about my sense of humor? It's just that it's not the first time that it's happened. We're talking about Texas, sir.

USA Today asks you why you don't spend more time campaigning in Texas and you say it's because you don't look good in funny hats. It was big hats. What difference does it make? It makes a difference.

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We got whomped in the primary and we got whomped in November. I think I was there. And it was avoidable.

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Ah, post, after hoc, ergo, therefore After hoc, therefore something else hoc. It means one thing follows the other, therefore it was caused by the other. But it's not always true. In fact it's hardly ever true.

We did not lose Texas because of the hat joke. Do you know when we lost Texas? When you learned to speak Latin? It's a flu shot. I don't need a flu shot. You do need a flu shot.

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How do I know this isn't the start of a military coup? I want the Secret Service in here right away. In the event of a military coup, sir, what makes you think the Secret Service is gonna be on your side? Now that's a thought that's gonna fester.

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